i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
