So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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