ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
