Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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