just tell him i said nine months
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
