I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
