we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
