3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
