why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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