almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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