Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
