:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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