i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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