Me. At least after what I've been through.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
