I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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