i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
