I didn't shave. On purpose
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize