a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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