in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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