love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
