Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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