I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The air was thick with penises
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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