you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
