I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
