it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
