one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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