Someone shit on the floor
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
