I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
