i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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