just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
