I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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