he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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