Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
