strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
