I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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