im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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