Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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