gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
third nipple confirmed
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
