i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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