I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
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we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
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you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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