How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
