Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If I die, sorry about rent.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
