redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
