drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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