the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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