all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
