This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
