That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
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she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
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Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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