Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's just like the Real World with babies
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
