I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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