I wanna bring you to show and tell
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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