I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How does it feel to date your dad?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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