Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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