two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
