i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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