Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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