i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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