and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
