I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize