You just made me feel so damn special
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
